Play your life back as a movie. What would you and the world see?

Developed by Yoshimoto Ishin in the 1940s, this practice is based around asking oneself three questions as it relates to a specific person that you interacted with:

1. What positive thing or action did I receive from them?

2. What did I do in return for them?

3. What troubles, worries, and unhappiness did I cause this person?

This humbling process, previously known to reflect upon the mother-child relationship, can be uncomfortable; however, its modern interpretation is a valuable reflective practice that helps develop a sense of gratitude and recognize the many blessings we've been given. It opens eyes to the quiet ways we and others shape and support each other’s lives.

Many people tend to focus on the problems they encounter rather than the effortless and beautiful paths that have already been laid out for them. For example, perhaps during a stressful holiday shopping season, you were pleasantly greeted as you walked into a store. The salesperson observed that you appeared upset and helped you find just the perfect gift. Both actions helped mitigate what could have been an unpleasant experience.

When you turn the tables and look back on your actions, what did you do in return? Did you acknowledge the salesperson with the same sense of warmth? Did you extend your sincere gratitude when they suggested that perfect gift?

Suppose you didn’t acknowledge their kind efforts. In that case, the next step is to be truthful and ask if you’ve caused any undesirable experiences or ignored the salesperson completely. How did you make them feel? What would you have done differently?

Through introspection, you become more cognizant and grateful for people and moments in your life. Spending just a few minutes practicing naikan can enhance beauty, open hearts, lift spirits, and fill your world with more joy.

River gives freely —
my reflection justly asks
how will you give thanks?